why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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