You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
