so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
