No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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