I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
