we have officially lost it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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