I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
