bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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