and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
