So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my shit smells like andre
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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