so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
