The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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