you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
