Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i believe in u and ur pee
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
