I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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