his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
