I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
