once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
