It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
