I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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