Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
