Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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