come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
