I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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