Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
