is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
