You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
