My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
