I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
