She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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