Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize