i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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