she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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