She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
