do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
