i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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