so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
smell my finger.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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