is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize