I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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