I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize