Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
