I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
