That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's the barista slut.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
