worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
