yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
whose parrot is this?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
