I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
