As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
