Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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