I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
