i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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