I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
