Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
