K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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