was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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