all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
