You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Tell her she can't have a vagina
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
