so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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