Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
