It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
