I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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